[Gather the group. Wait until you have most people's attention before starting.]
"Hi everyone, I'm [your name], and I'll be facilitating today's session.
Before we dive in, here's what today actually is. The next four rounds are about one thing: figuring out who you actually are, before life decides that for you.
Most people drift into their twenties without ever naming what they stand for. Then a job offer, a bad relationship, or a hard year forces the question anyway, usually at the worst possible time. Today, you're doing that work early, on your own terms.
Here's how it's going to go. You'll choose between two paths and notice what you're drawn to, no overthinking. You'll fight for the values that matter most to you, so you walk away with a decision filter you can actually use when it counts. You'll tell a real story from your own life, because the people who stand out later are the ones who can name specific moments, not vague qualities. And at the end, you'll walk away with something concrete: a way of knowing yourself that travels with you into every room you walk into next.
This isn't a personality test. There are no right or wrong answers, just choose what you'd actually do. As we go, we'll spot a few things that seem to matter to you when you're making a choice. You might notice something you didn't realise was important to you. I'm not here to tell you what you should value, we're just going to have some fun and see what we find out.
It's practice for becoming someone who doesn't get blindsided by the events in life. Let's begin."
[Optional, if it feels natural: share a small example of a values tension in your own life, e.g. "I once had to choose between a group project idea I actually believed in and the safer option everyone else wanted. I went with the safer one, and I still think about that." Keep it in your own words.]
Mandatory · 25–26 min
[Reference only, not read aloud as a list. Each scenario reveals two values, one behind each option, and gets read individually below.]
| # | Scenario | Option A → Value | Option B → Value |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | You finally have a whole Saturday free. Which would you rather do? | Spend the day with your closest friends. → Belonging | Spend the day learning something you've always wanted to try. → Growth |
| 2 | Your team has two ideas. | Try a creative idea that might not work. → Creativity | Choose a safer idea that has a better chance of succeeding. → Responsibility |
| 3 | You're at a friend's gathering and someone new turns up who doesn't know anyone else there. | Invite them to join in even if it feels a bit awkward. → Courage | Give them space and wait until they seem comfortable approaching others. → Respect |
| 4 | You're the only person in your group who disagrees with the plan everyone else is excited about. | Say what you actually think, even if it changes the mood in the room. → Authenticity | Hold back, out of respect for how invested everyone else already is. → Respect |
| 5 | You're halfway through a personal project and it isn't going the way you hoped. | Drop it and try a completely different approach. → Freedom | Push through and finish what you started, because you committed to it. → Responsibility |
| 6 | You're stuck on a tricky problem with a deadline coming up. | Work it out on your own, even if it takes longer. → Independence | Go find out how other people have solved something similar and pick up a faster way. → Growth |
| 7 | You've been working hard towards a personal goal. A close friend suddenly needs your help on the same day. | Continue working towards your goal. → Purpose | Put your plans aside to help your friend. → Belonging |
| 8 | Something you care about needs someone to speak up for it publicly. | Be the one who takes the risk and speaks up. → Courage | Keep working toward it quietly, your own way, without the spotlight. → Purpose |
[The mechanic for each scenario: 1. Call out option A, people who choose A raise their hands. 2. Call out option B, people who choose B raise their hands. 3. Note the tally for A and B. 4. Reveal what A and B stood for, then invite sharing. 5. Move to the next scenario. Pause for the mid-point check-in after scenario 4.]
"Okay, we're going to start with some quick choices. I'll read out two options. If option A is you, raise your hand. Then I'll read option B, and if that one's you, raise your hand instead. Don't think about what you think you should choose, just go with what you'd actually do. Ready?"
"Remember, there's no right answer. Don't worry about explaining yourself yet, just raise your hand for the one that's true for you."
Scenario 1: "You finally have a whole Saturday free. Which would you rather do? Option A, spend the day with your closest friends. If that's you, raise your hand." [Note the tally for A.] "Now option B, spend the day learning something you've always wanted to try. If that's you, raise your hand." [Note the tally for B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Belonging, B is Growth.] "Interesting. A was Belonging and B was Growth. Anyone want to share why they picked theirs?" [If nobody answers:] "No worries. Let's make it easy. What was the first thing that came to mind when you picked it?"
Scenario 2: "Your team has two ideas. Option A, try a creative idea that might not work. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, choose a safer idea that has a better chance of succeeding. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Creativity, B is Responsibility.] "A was Creativity, B was Responsibility. What influenced your decision?"
Scenario 3: "You're at a friend's gathering and someone new turns up who doesn't know anyone else there. Option A, invite them to join in even if it feels a bit awkward. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, give them space and wait until they seem comfortable approaching others. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Courage, B is Respect.] "A was Courage, B was Respect. What would help this person most?"
Scenario 4: "You're the only person in your group who disagrees with the plan everyone else is excited about. Option A, say what you actually think, even if it changes the mood in the room. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, hold back, out of respect for how invested everyone else already is. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Authenticity, B is Respect.] "A was Authenticity, B was Respect. What made you choose that?"
[If someone gives a long answer at any point:] "Yeah, that's interesting. Let's see if the next one gives us a different answer."
"Okay, halfway there. Which one was the easiest for you? And which one was harder to choose? You might already be noticing that some choices are easier for you than others."
Scenario 5: "You're halfway through a personal project and it isn't going the way you hoped. Option A, drop it and try a completely different approach. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, push through and finish what you started, because you committed to it. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Freedom, B is Responsibility.] "A was Freedom, B was Responsibility. What tipped the balance for you?"
Scenario 6: "You're stuck on a tricky problem with a deadline coming up. Option A, work it out on your own, even if it takes longer. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, go find out how other people have solved something similar and pick up a faster way. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Independence, B is Growth.] "A was Independence, B was Growth. What does that say about how you like to work?"
Scenario 7: "You've been working hard towards a personal goal. A close friend suddenly needs your help on the same day. Option A, continue working towards your goal. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, put your plans aside to help your friend. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Purpose, B is Belonging.] "A was Purpose, B was Belonging. Would your answer change depending on the situation?"
Scenario 8: "Something you care about needs someone to speak up for it publicly. Option A, be the one who takes the risk and speaks up. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, keep working toward it quietly, your own way, without the spotlight. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Courage, B is Purpose.] "A was Courage, B was Purpose. What does that choice say about how you get things done?"
"So, what did you notice? Did you keep choosing the same kind of thing? Or did your answer change depending on the situation? That's what we're looking for, our choices can tell us quite a lot about what matters to us."
"When you're stuck between two choices, ask yourself, 'what matters to me here?' It can make a hard choice a bit clearer.
You won't always know what's going to happen in the future. But if you know what matters to you, it's easier to make a decision when something unexpected comes up."
"What did today's choices tell you about the decision making criteria you already use?"
[Only if you're running Round 2.]
"So far, we've just been making choices. Now we're going to make those choices a bit harder. This time you won't be able to choose everything, you'll have to decide what matters most."
Optional · 15–17 min
[Reference only. Read definitions aloud if a participant asks what a value means, otherwise trust that the words are familiar enough to allocate tokens to without explanation.]
| Value | In everyday words |
|---|---|
| Authenticity | Being true to who I am |
| Freedom | Having the freedom to choose my own path |
| Independence | Thinking and deciding for myself |
| Respect | Valuing myself and others |
| Belonging | Feeling accepted and connected |
| Growth | Always learning and improving |
| Creativity | Expressing myself and solving problems |
| Courage | Facing challenges and speaking up |
| Responsibility | Owning my choices and actions |
| Purpose | Living a life that has meaning |
[Reference only.]
| People | Tokens Each |
|---|---|
| 2 | 6–8 |
| 3 | 8–10 |
| 4 | 10–12 |
| 5 | 14–16 |
| 6 | 16–18 |
[Groups larger than 6 should split into two smaller groups, each running its own auction.]
[The mechanic: 1. Draw a card. 2. Set up: confirm how many people are taking part and how many tokens each gets, from the table above. Each person is assigned their own way of marking a token, colour, initials, whatever's easiest for your format. 3. Each person, in turn, adds a token to whichever value they want it on. 4. Repeat, going around the group, until all 10 values have been considered. Add up tokens per value, the top 3 highest totals become the group's top three.]
[Draw one Opportunity or Challenge card and read it aloud, this sets the scenario for the whole auction.]
"This round is a bit different. Everyone gets a limited number of tokens today, so you can't put a token on everything. [Check the token budget table for your group size.] You'll use your tokens to mark the values you'd actually want to keep. Hold onto today's card while you decide, [read the card], you're choosing what you'd actually want to protect if this happened to you.
You don't have to put a token on something just because you like it. Save your tokens for the ones that matter most to you."
[Set everyone up with their token budget for the round.]
"Here's how it works. I'll come to each of you in turn, you tell me which value you want a token on, and I'll mark it down. You can put more than one token on the same value if it really matters to you, or spread them across a few. Once your tokens run out, you're done for this round."
[Go around the group, adding tokens to whichever value each person calls out. Keep going until everyone's out of tokens, or all 10 values have been considered.]
[If someone keeps putting all their tokens down before others have had a turn:] "Let's pause there for a second and hear from someone who hasn't gone yet."
[If a value gets no tokens at all:] "Nobody's put anything on this one. That's fine, let's keep going."
[If a token gets marked by mistake:] "No worries, let's undo that one."
"Quick note before we move on: this isn't about who 'wins.' Whether a value ends up with tokens from lots of different people, or a lot of tokens from just one or two of you, it counts the same either way. What matters is the total each value ends up with. The top three by token count become the whole group's top three, not anyone's personal prize."
"That was quite different from Round 1. Before, you could choose whatever you wanted. This time you had to give something up. What did you notice about what you were willing to spend your tokens on?" [Listen to one or two answers.] "That's useful, because sometimes we only find out what really matters to us when we have to choose between two things we want."
"You can use this when you have too many things competing for your time. Ask yourself, 'if I can't have everything, what do I want to protect?'
Life will give you more options than you have time for. Knowing what matters to you helps you decide what to say yes to, and what to say no to."
"When it came down to it, what did you actually spend on, and did that surprise you?"
[Only if you're running Round 3.]
"We've seen what you choose, and what you're willing to spend on. Now let's look at something else: do your actions actually match what you say matters to you?"
Optional · 16–18 min
[Same list as Round 2, for quick reference if the group needs reminding what the winning value actually means.]
Authenticity · Freedom · Independence · Respect · Belonging · Growth · Creativity · Courage · Responsibility · Purpose
[The value everyone tells stories about is usually whichever one won the most tokens in the Auction. If you skipped Round 2, choose a value now, or ask the group to vote. Story prompts for every value are in Appendix A at the end of this script.]
[The mechanic: 1. Decide how many people will tell a story. 2. Confirm the value. 3. Stories are told one at a time, live, and you log a one-line summary of each as it's told.]
Step 1 — Set the number of storytellers
"For this round, we're going to hear real stories, live, one at a time. Let's decide how many of you are going to share today." [Choose a number based on time and group size, typically 4–6.]
Step 2 — Confirm the value
"The value we're telling stories about is [value], that's the one this group fought hardest for in the Auction." [If you skipped Round 2, choose a value now, or ask the group to vote.] "Here are a few prompts to get you thinking." [Read one or two prompts aloud from Appendix A.]
"Think of a real moment where this showed up for you. It doesn't have to be an amazing story, it can be something really small.
For example, if the value was responsibility, I might say: 'I had a group project and nobody was organising it, so I made a plan and got everyone moving.' That's enough, it doesn't need to be a dramatic story."
[Model first: tell a short, visibly imperfect story yourself about the chosen value.]
Step 3 — Stories, logged live
"Okay, who wants to go first?" [Take volunteers, or call on people directly if the room is quiet. As each person finishes, log a one-line summary of their story before moving to the next person.]
[If someone says "I don't know," use one of the Appendix A prompts for the chosen value instead of the general line below, it's more specific and easier to answer:] "That's okay. Think about the last time you had to make a choice involving this value, what did you actually do?" [If still nothing:] "It can be something really small, think about school, friends, family, or even something you did for yourself."
"You don't have to share anything personal. Just share an example you're comfortable talking about."
[Keep going until you reach the storyteller count you set, or time runs low. Then move to the individual write: "Something I value is ___ and it shows up when ___."]
"What did you notice when you thought of a real example? Was it easy to find one? Or did you realise that sometimes what we say is important to us and what we actually do aren't quite the same?" [Pause.] "That's not a bad thing. It's actually useful to notice."
"If something really matters to you, look for small ways to act on it. You don't need to make a huge change, start with one thing you can actually do.
Knowing what matters is useful. But being able to act on it is even more useful, especially when things get difficult."
"What's one story that proves this value is already part of the decision making criteria you use, not just something you wish were true?"
"Okay, we've looked at what you choose, what you prioritise, and what you actually do. Let's put it together."
Mandatory · 10 min
[Hand out the worksheet and a pen to each participant.]
"Take a few minutes to look back at everything we did today, the choices you made, what you bid on, and the story you told. We're going to turn that into something you actually walk away with."
[While writing:] "Don't worry about getting the wording perfect. Just write what's true for you right now."
"Now write one sentence: 'I want to remember that ___.' Fill in one thing you now know about yourself that you didn't have clearly named before today."
"Then choose one small thing you can actually do. Something you could finish in under fifteen minutes. And write down one person it would help to know this about you."
"A declaration only really does anything once someone else hears it. Try actually telling the person you named this week, not eventually, eventually usually means never.
Naming something about yourself clearly is different from just sort of knowing it. Once you can put it into a sentence, you can actually use it, to explain a decision, or to notice when you're drifting from it."
[Closing sequence:]
"So after everything you've done today, what do you think matters most to you?" [Let a few people answer.]
"And what's one thing you want to do differently because of that?" [Let a few people answer.]
"That's it. You don't have to figure out your whole future today, you've just made it a bit clearer. Thanks everyone."
"Looking at what you noticed in all three rounds today, what's sitting at the centre of the decision making criteria you use right now?"
[Referenced from Round 3. Use these if a participant is stuck on the group's chosen value, or if you need a backup prompt while stories are being told.]
Authenticity - Tell me about a time you chose to be yourself even though you knew others might not agree. - Tell me about a time you stopped pretending to fit in. - Tell me about a moment when someone really saw the real you.
Freedom - Tell me about a time you were able to make an important choice for yourself. - Tell me about a time you felt trapped or restricted. - Tell me about a moment when you experienced real freedom.
Independence - Tell me about a time you made a decision without relying on others. - Tell me about a time you solved a problem on your own. - Tell me about a moment you realised you were becoming more independent.
Respect - Tell me about a time someone treated you with respect. - Tell me about a time you chose to respect someone despite your differences. - Tell me about a time you stood up because you felt you deserved more respect.
Belonging - Tell me about a time you felt like you truly belonged. - Tell me about a time you felt left out and what happened next. - Tell me about a group or community that feels like home to you.
Growth - Tell me about a challenge that helped you grow. - Tell me about a skill you worked hard to develop. - Tell me about a mistake that taught you an important lesson.
Creativity - Tell me about something you created that you're proud of. - Tell me about a creative solution you came up with. - Tell me about a time you expressed yourself through art, music, writing, or another creative activity.
Courage - Tell me about a time you did something even though you were afraid. - Tell me about a time you stood up for yourself or someone else. - Tell me about a difficult decision you had to make.
Responsibility - Tell me about a time you took ownership of a mistake. - Tell me about a responsibility you are proud of. - Tell me about a time someone trusted you with something important.
Purpose - Tell me about a time you felt your life had meaning. - Tell me about an experience that made you realise what matters most to you. - Tell me about something you hope to contribute to others or the world in the future.