Your main adjustment for this group: give people more time to think and share. Slow your own pace down, don't rush to fill silences, and expect stories to take longer than the suggested time.
[Gather the group. Wait until you have most people's attention before starting.]
"Hello everyone, I'm [your name], and I'll be facilitating today's session.
Before we dive in, here's what today actually is. Over the next four rounds, we're going to take stock of something valuable: everything you've learned about what matters, across a whole life of living it.
The world today asks a lot of people, constant change, new ways of doing things, less certainty about what comes next. But the thing that holds steady through all of it is knowing who you are and what you stand for. That's not something you lose with time. If anything, you have more of it than anyone else in the room.
Here's how it's going to go. You'll choose between two paths and notice what you're drawn to. You'll decide which values you hold most dear, values you've tested through real experience, not just theory. You'll share a story from your own life, because your stories carry things no one else can teach. And at the end, we'll bring it all together into something worth keeping and passing on.
There are no right or wrong answers today, just choose whatever you'd actually do. As we go, we'll see if we can spot a few things that seem to matter to you when you're making a choice. You might notice something you've always known about yourself, or something you hadn't quite put into words before. I'm not here to tell you what you should value, you already know that better than I do, we're just going to have a bit of fun and see what we find out together.
There's no rush here, and no wrong answers, only yours, earned over time. Let's begin."
[Optional, if it feels natural: share a small example of a values tension in your own life. Seniors will often have far richer examples of their own to offer once they see you go first, don't worry about your example being small by comparison.]
Mandatory · 25–26 min
[Reference only, not read aloud as a list. Each scenario reveals two values, one behind each option, and gets read individually below.]
| # | Scenario | Option A → Value | Option B → Value |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | You finally have a whole Saturday free. Would you rather? | Spend the day with people close to you. → Belonging | Spend the day learning something you've always wanted to try. → Growth |
| 2 | You've set aside time for something that matters to you. That same day, someone close to you needs your help. | Continue with your own plans. → Purpose | Set your plans aside to help them. → Loyalty |
| 3 | You're stuck on something tricky, with a deadline coming up. | Work it out on your own, in your own time. → Independence | Go find out how other people have approached something similar. → Curiosity |
| 4 | You're the only person in a group who disagrees with a plan everyone else is excited about. | Quietly stay true to what you believe without making a scene. → Authenticity | Speak up, even though it might be uncomfortable. → Courage |
| 5 | Something you set out to do isn't going the way you planned. | Change course and try something different. → Freedom | Keep going and see it through, the way you always have. → Responsibility |
| 6 | You're offered a chance to try something new in a group setting. | Step up and take the risk in front of everyone. → Courage | Take it on quietly, in your own way, first. → Independence |
| 7 | Someone close to you needs help with something small but urgent. | Drop what you're doing to help right away. → Responsibility | Finish what you're doing first, because it matters to you too. → Purpose |
| 8 | You're in a group conversation and everyone agrees on something you quietly don't. | Speak your true view, even if it changes the mood. → Authenticity | Stay quiet to keep the group's harmony. → Belonging |
[The mechanic for each scenario: 1. Call out option A, people who choose A raise their hands. 2. Call out option B, people who choose B raise their hands. 3. Note the tally for A and B. 4. Reveal what A and B stood for, then invite sharing. 5. Move to the next scenario. Pause for the mid-point check-in after scenario 4. Take your time throughout, there's no rush.]
"Okay, we're going to start with some quick choices. I'll read out two options. If option A is you, raise your hand. Then I'll read option B, and if that one's you, raise your hand instead. Don't think about what you think you should choose, just go with what you'd actually do. Take your time, there's no rush. Ready?"
"Remember, there's no right answer. Don't worry about explaining yourself yet, just raise your hand for the one that's true for you."
Scenario 1: "You finally have a whole Saturday free. Would you rather, option A, spend the day with people close to you. If that's you, raise your hand." [Note the tally for A.] "Or option B, spend the day learning something you've always wanted to try. If that's you, raise your hand." [Note the tally for B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Belonging, B is Growth.] "Interesting. A was Belonging and B was Growth. Anyone want to share why they picked theirs?" [If nobody answers:] "No worries. Let's make it easy. What was the first thing that came to mind when you picked it?"
Scenario 2: "You've set aside time for something that matters to you. That same day, someone close to you needs your help. Option A, continue with your own plans. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, set your plans aside to help them. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Purpose, B is Loyalty.] "A was Purpose, B was Loyalty. Would your answer change depending on the situation?"
Scenario 3: "You're stuck on something tricky, with a deadline coming up. Option A, work it out on your own, in your own time. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, go find out how other people have approached something similar. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Independence, B is Curiosity.] "A was Independence, B was Curiosity. What does that say about how you like to work?"
Scenario 4: "You're the only person in a group who disagrees with a plan everyone else is excited about. Option A, quietly stay true to what you believe without making a scene. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, speak up, even though it might be uncomfortable. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Authenticity, B is Courage.] "A was Authenticity, B was Courage. What made you choose that?"
[If someone gives a long answer at any point:] "That's interesting. Let's see if the next one gives us a different answer."
"Okay, halfway there. Which one was the easiest for you? And which one was harder to choose? You might already be noticing that some choices are easier for you than others."
Scenario 5: "Something you set out to do isn't going the way you planned. Option A, change course and try something different. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, keep going and see it through, the way you always have. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Freedom, B is Responsibility.] "A was Freedom, B was Responsibility. What tipped the balance for you?"
Scenario 6: "You're offered a chance to try something new in a group setting. Option A, step up and take the risk in front of everyone. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, take it on quietly, in your own way, first. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Courage, B is Independence.] "A was Courage, B was Independence. What does that say about how you like to take on new things?"
Scenario 7: "Someone close to you needs help with something small but urgent. Option A, drop what you're doing to help right away. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, finish what you're doing first, because it matters to you too. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Responsibility, B is Purpose.] "A was Responsibility, B was Purpose. Would your answer change depending on the situation?"
Scenario 8: "You're in a group conversation and everyone agrees on something you quietly don't. Option A, speak your true view, even if it changes the mood. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally A.] "Option B, stay quiet to keep the group's harmony. If that's you, raise your hand." [Tally B.] "Let's see what everyone picked." [Reveal: A is Authenticity, B is Belonging.] "A was Authenticity, B was Belonging. What made you choose that?"
"So, what did you notice? Did you keep choosing the same kind of thing? Or did your answer change depending on the situation? That's what we're looking for, our choices can tell us quite a lot about what matters to us."
"When you're stuck between two choices, ask yourself, 'what matters to me here?' It can make a hard choice a bit clearer.
You won't always know what's going to happen ahead of you. But if you know what matters to you, it's easier to make a decision when something unexpected comes up."
"What did today's choices tell you about the decision making criteria you already use?"
[Only if you're running Round 2.]
"So far, we've just been making choices. Now we're going to make those choices a bit harder. This time you won't be able to choose everything, you'll have to decide what matters most."
Optional · 15–17 min
[Reference only. Read definitions aloud if a participant asks what a value means, otherwise trust that the words are familiar enough to allocate tokens to without explanation.]
| Value | In everyday words |
|---|---|
| Authenticity | Being true to who I am |
| Freedom | Having the freedom to choose my own path |
| Independence | Thinking and deciding for myself |
| Belonging | Feeling accepted and connected |
| Loyalty | Being there for the people who matter |
| Growth | Always learning and improving |
| Curiosity | Exploring new ideas and experiences |
| Courage | Facing challenges and speaking up |
| Responsibility | Owning my choices and actions |
| Purpose | Living a life that has meaning |
[Reference only.]
| People | Tokens Each |
|---|---|
| 2 | 6–8 |
| 3 | 8–10 |
| 4 | 10–12 |
| 5 | 14–16 |
| 6 | 16–18 |
[Groups larger than 6 should split into two smaller groups, each running its own auction, a co-facilitator or on-site staff member can run the second one.]
[The mechanic: 1. Draw a card. 2. Set up: confirm how many people are taking part and how many tokens each gets, from the table above. Each person is assigned their own way of marking a token, colour, initials, or whatever's easiest for your format. 3. Each person, in turn, adds a token to whichever value they want it on. 4. Repeat, going around the group, until all 10 values have been considered. Add up tokens per value, the top 3 highest totals become the group's top three. Take this round at an unhurried pace.]
[Draw one Opportunity or Challenge card and read it aloud, this sets the scenario for the whole auction.]
"This round is a bit different. Everyone gets a limited number of tokens today, so you can't put a token on everything. [Check the token budget table for your group size.] You'll use your tokens to mark the values you'd actually want to keep. Hold onto today's card while you decide, [read the card], you're choosing what you'd actually want to protect if this happened to you.
You don't have to put a token on something just because you like it. Save your tokens for the ones that matter most to you."
[Set everyone up with their token budget for the round.]
"Here's how it works. I'll come to each of you in turn, you tell me which value you want a token on, and I'll mark it down. You can put more than one token on the same value if it really matters to you, or spread them across a few. Once your tokens run out, you're done for this round. Take your time, there's no rush."
[Go around the group, adding tokens to whichever value each person calls out. Keep going until everyone's out of tokens, or all 10 values have been considered.]
[If someone keeps putting all their tokens down before others have had a turn:] "Let's pause there for a second and hear from someone who hasn't gone yet."
[If a value gets no tokens at all:] "Nobody's put anything on this one. That's fine, let's keep going."
[If a token gets marked by mistake:] "No worries, let's undo that one."
"Quick note before we move on: this isn't about who 'wins.' Whether a value ends up with tokens from lots of different people, or a lot of tokens from just one or two of you, it counts the same either way. What matters is the total each value ends up with. The top three by token count become the whole group's top three, not anyone's personal prize."
"That was quite different from Round 1. Before, you could choose whatever you wanted. This time you had to give something up. What did you notice about what you were willing to spend your tokens on?" [Listen to one or two answers.] "That's useful, because sometimes we only find out what really matters to us when we have to choose between two things we want."
"You can use this when too many things are competing for your time. Ask yourself, 'if I can't have everything, what do I want to protect?'
Life will keep giving you more than you have time for, and that doesn't change with age. Knowing what matters to you helps you decide what to say yes to, and what to say no to."
"When it came down to it, what did you actually spend on, and did that surprise you?"
[Only if you're running Round 3.]
"We've seen what you choose, and what you're willing to spend on. Now let's look at something else: do your actions actually match what you say matters to you?"
Optional · 16–18 min · allow extra time if participants want to share longer stories, that's the point of this round
[Same list as Round 2, for quick reference if the group needs reminding what the winning value actually means.]
Authenticity · Freedom · Independence · Belonging · Loyalty · Growth · Curiosity · Courage · Responsibility · Purpose
[The value everyone tells stories about is usually whichever one won the most tokens in the Auction. If you skipped Round 2, choose a value now, or ask the group to vote. Story prompts for every value are in Appendix A at the end of this script.]
[The mechanic: 1. Decide how many people will tell a story. 2. Confirm the value. 3. Stories are told one at a time, live, and you log a one-line summary of each as it's told. Give this round more room than the timing suggests.]
Step 1 — Set the number of storytellers
"For this round, we're going to hear real stories, one at a time. Let's decide how many of you are going to share today." [Choose a number based on time and group size, typically 4–6.]
Step 2 — Confirm the value
"The value we're telling stories about is [value], that's the one this group fought hardest for in the Auction." [If you skipped Round 2, choose a value now, or ask the group to vote.] "Here are a few prompts to get you thinking." [Read one or two prompts aloud from Appendix A.]
"Think of a real moment where this showed up for you. It doesn't have to be an amazing story, it can be something really small.
For example, if the value was responsibility, I might say: 'A few years ago my family was deciding something together, and nobody wanted to make the final call, so I said I would.' That's enough, it doesn't need to be a dramatic story."
[Model first: tell a short, visibly imperfect story yourself about the chosen value.]
Step 3 — Stories, told and logged
"Okay, who wants to go first?" [Take volunteers, or invite people directly if the room is quiet. Take your time here, longer pauses before someone speaks are normal, don't fill the silence for them. As each person finishes, log a one-line summary of their story before moving to the next person.]
[If someone says "I don't know," use one of the Appendix A prompts for the chosen value instead of the general line below, it's more specific and easier to answer:] "That's okay. Think about the last time you had to make a choice involving this value, what did you actually do?" [If still nothing:] "It can be something really small, think about family, friends, or something you did for yourself."
"You don't have to share anything personal. Just share an example you're comfortable talking about."
[Keep going until you reach the storyteller count you set, or time runs low. Then move to the individual write: "Something I value is ___ and it shows up when ___."]
"What did you notice when you thought of a real example? Was it easy to find one? Or did you realise that sometimes what we say is important to us and what we actually do aren't quite the same?" [Pause.] "That's not a bad thing. It's actually useful to notice."
"If something really matters to you, look for small ways to act on it. You don't need to make a huge change, start with one thing you can actually do, and telling this story to someone at home this week is one easy place to start.
Knowing what matters is useful. But being able to act on it is even more useful, especially when things get difficult."
"What's one story that proves this value is already part of the decision making criteria you use, not just something you wish were true?"
"Okay, we've looked at what you choose, what you prioritise, and what you actually do. Let's put it together."
Mandatory · 10 min
[Hand out the worksheet and a pen to each participant.]
"Take a few minutes to look back at everything we did today, the choices you made, what you bid on, and the story you told. We're going to turn that into something you actually walk away with."
[While writing:] "Don't worry about getting the wording perfect. Take your time, and just write what's true for you right now."
"Now write one sentence: 'I want to remember that ___.' Fill in one thing you now know about yourself that you didn't have clearly named before today."
"Then choose one small thing you can actually do. Something you could finish in under fifteen minutes. And write down one person it would help to know this about you, maybe someone in your family."
"A declaration only really does anything once someone else hears it. Try actually telling the person you named this week, not eventually, eventually usually means never.
Naming something about yourself clearly is different from just sort of knowing it. Once you can put it into a sentence, you can actually use it, to explain a decision, or to notice when you're drifting from it."
[Closing sequence:]
"So after everything you've done today, what do you think matters most to you?" [Let a few people answer.]
"And what's one thing you want to do differently because of that?" [Let a few people answer.]
"That's it. You don't have to figure out your whole future today, you've just made it a bit clearer. Thanks everyone."
"Looking at what you noticed in all three rounds today, what's sitting at the centre of the decision making criteria you use right now?"
[Referenced from Round 3. Use these if a participant is stuck on the group's chosen value, or if you need a backup prompt while stories are being told.]
Authenticity - Tell me about a time you stayed true to yourself even when others expected you to act differently at this stage of life. - Tell me about a time you let go of a role or expectation you'd outgrown. - Tell me about a moment someone saw the real you, not just the role you play.
Freedom - Tell me about a time you made an important choice for yourself, on your own terms. - Tell me about a time you felt boxed in by what others assumed about you. - Tell me about a moment when you experienced real freedom or control over your own life.
Independence - Tell me about a time you made a decision without relying on others, even now. - Tell me about a time you solved a problem your own way. - Tell me about a moment you realised independence looks different than it used to, but still matters to you.
Belonging - Tell me about a time you felt truly part of a group, even later in life. - Tell me about a time you felt overlooked or invisible, and what happened next. - Tell me about a place or community that still feels like home to you.
Loyalty - Tell me about a time you stood by someone. - Tell me about someone who has always been there for you. - Tell me about a time your loyalty was tested.
Growth - Tell me about a challenge that helped you grow, even recently. - Tell me about a skill you worked hard to develop, at any point in your life. - Tell me about a mistake that taught you something important.
Curiosity - Tell me about something you became deeply interested in later in life. - Tell me about a question that changed how you think. - Tell me about a time trying something new surprised you.
Courage - Tell me about a time you faced something difficult, health, loss, or change, even though you were afraid. - Tell me about a time you stood up for yourself or someone else. - Tell me about a hard decision you had to make.
Responsibility - Tell me about a responsibility you're proud of, caring for someone, a role in your community, passing something on. - Tell me about a time you took ownership of a mistake. - Tell me about a time someone trusted you with something important.
Purpose - Tell me about a time you felt your life had meaning. - Tell me about something you hope to still contribute, to family, community, or people that matter to you. - Tell me about what you'd want people to remember about how you lived.